Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm addicted to smoking again?

Well after over 5 years of being off the dirty smokes I'm addicted to smoking again!! I have been smoking for several weeks!!! My throat and lungs are bothering me! I'm scared!I had problems with my throat this year. They found a few tiny tiny nodules in my thryoid. They said it's nothing to worry about. But they want me to see them in six months. They blood test came out okay.So, like a total idiot I am smoking again. I'm over eating and I'm smoking!!!! I have been unemployed for over 1.5 years! Why? Because I am a loser! No one wants to hire me. When they do they don't want to keep me. I don't do drugs, I don't drink. I'm honest. I went to college! I just guess I'm nothing special. At least I am a Dad raising his child and his wife works. I guess that's more important. My brother had a lung removed because of cancer from smoking. So here I am the idiot that I am wanting another cigarette! So did I start? WHY NOT. How do I stop smoking again! I want to0 have one right now!!!!

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