Nine months - then back to the beginning

I used to imagine how great it would be to reach the 9 month mark of not smoking. While I've had a couple of blips in the past, I've never sort of 'started smoking' again to the extent that it ruled my life. But now I have and find myself once more a slave to cigarettes. This makes me so so so miserable, angry, frustrated, scared - everything. I hate it more than I hate anything. Just prior to smoking I had begun eating well - now I hardly eat. We moved into a new house (part of the stress that triggered it) and I'm polluting it with my smell and it's wasting all my money and takes up all my time and my colleagues have to put up with my smell ... god I hate the smell I really realy hate it - oh, my daughter hates it obviously ... and I can't hug her if I smell (which is pretty much always now - brushing teeth, washing hands, hand cream, removing jacket - doesn't get rid of it). I smell it in my room at night as I've sweated out all the nicotine or whatever. Already (it's been about a

More on Quit Smoking..