Sunday, October 24, 2010

As close to an SOS as I hope I ever am

I did it again! I wrote out a big long post...poured out my heart and soul about how flippiin hard this is right now and frickin backspaced or something and it wiped the whole thing out. Having a hard time right now...REALLY HARD! I hope I can do this...Get thorugh this!!!! AND bury my JUNKIE! I feel like crying because I really want to smoke right now. I HATE this!! I hate that my Junkie is telling me I am missing an old friend! I remember when I was about 20 and my dad would say...."do you know what a smoked fish looks like????" And I would say "Yeah dad".....and then he would say "That's what your lungs look like!" And I would blow him off...... And my dad was right. I worry everyday that I did permanent damage to myself...cancer....C.O.P.D...... My dad was a pretty smart

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