Day 4 and I slipped!

Today is my day 4 this morning I woke up after another sleepless night I'm tried I yelled at my husband over iced coffee I cried when I was having a shower cause I lost my temper i was to scared to get out in case i yelled again I have a headache my husband asked me what's wrong and I lost it! I walked to the shop thinking I will change my mind I brought the smokes and I walked back I lit that smoke and sat there and watched it burn I wanted to inhale it I thought for just a second I want to be a smoker I like smoking maybe I'm just not ready yet! Is anyone really ready on there hardest day to be a non smoker cause I know 4 days ago I was ready today I'm not I don't like who I am being I'm not angry I'm not emotional I don't cry because I want to inhale chemicals that WILL kill me. I hear all the time it's ok most people don't quit for good on there first try I want to be the exception when will the day come when I won't care I won't be counting the hrs the days when can I truly say I

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